a very special person came into being.
While I knew I would not be able to raise him myself, I did everything I could to make certain that he would get the life he deserved. Even if that life was not with me.
I have no regrets. The decision was the best for us both and I believe we are both better people than we would have been because of the decision I made. His parents got to raise a wonderful child, he was safe, happy, healthy, loved and cared for, and I was able to make my life something I'm proud to get to tell him about today.
Alex, I hope you have a wonderful day today. You are funny, sweet, dramatic, goofy...
I am happy and grateful for the time you and your parents have given in the past year so that I can finally get to know you. It is more than I'd ever dared to hope for.
Here's to many more years with you as a part of my life.
Showing posts with label alex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alex. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Something Tangible
In this day and age of internet and digital media, I'm probably a throw back.
While I love Facebook, Twitter, blogs and Plurk and my digital cameras and my iPhone and my netBook, there are things that I want to be able put my hands on (for the smart alecs that read this - yes I know the cameras and the netBook and iPhone are tangible :-P ). There are also things I want to give to people.
Sometimes it is hand knits. Sometimes it is a piece of jewelry that reminds be of the person that gets it. Sometimes it is just a little something to let them know I saw this and it made me think of them.
Last year I gave our neighbor a necklace with a teacher pendant because I thought she'd like to have it for the new school year and I had no clue at the time when her birthday was. At the same time I got myself one similar that says " laugh often... love much." Both things that were very difficult after the year of failed fertility trials. But also things that I needed to remember.
As most of my readers know, my biological son was given my contact information by his parents starting in May of this year and he used it. Now he and I have never actually spoken (okay not since the day after he was born - he won't remember that) nor seen each other in person. All of our contact is online: chat, WoW, Facebook, Twitter, et cetera.
He knows how to get in touch with me when needed and I do hope to actually get to speak with him and meet him in person some day. It's his call to make, literally and figuratively.
That said, I wanted him to have something from me, so I have a hat in the works that he knows about. I'm also making a shawl for his mom. But those kinds of things are easy.
A few weeks ago I was browsing online looking for new pendants to go with the one mentioned above. Simple statements, nothing overtly religious since I'm not at all religious and I came across a cute little charm for a charm bracelet.
It was a little black enamel Scottie dog with a red enamel bow set in sterling silver. Now Alex lost his Mattie dog (a Scottie) back in May rather unexpectedly. And I'll see a post from him every so often about how much he misses him (and I don't blame him - I miss Smokey Cat fiercely right now and I'd give just about anything to have my Herky cat back and he's been gone 22 years).
The charm seemed perfect so I ordered it. Now I know where his parents live. I can pull their address up any time I want. I didn't have Alex's and I was afraid to ask for it and he hadn't offered. I didn't and still don't know how he'd feel about getting something tangible from me.
It took a couple of weeks to get up the nerve to ask him for his mailing address at school. He was kind enough to supply it. So I bought a card and stuck the charm in it and away it went.
I have no idea if he's received it or not. When he does, I hope he likes it, rather then is upset by it, since that was not my intent. Maybe he can stick it on his keychain or his back pack. Hopefully, as the pain of the loss lessens, when he sees it and thinks of Mattie, he can remember all the fun times they had together as boy and dog, as friends.
But it's something tangible and hopefully worth keeping. Unlike the monster tin of cookies I also had delivered that I'm sure he and his roommates have inhaled by now.
While I love Facebook, Twitter, blogs and Plurk and my digital cameras and my iPhone and my netBook, there are things that I want to be able put my hands on (for the smart alecs that read this - yes I know the cameras and the netBook and iPhone are tangible :-P ). There are also things I want to give to people.
Sometimes it is hand knits. Sometimes it is a piece of jewelry that reminds be of the person that gets it. Sometimes it is just a little something to let them know I saw this and it made me think of them.
Last year I gave our neighbor a necklace with a teacher pendant because I thought she'd like to have it for the new school year and I had no clue at the time when her birthday was. At the same time I got myself one similar that says " laugh often... love much." Both things that were very difficult after the year of failed fertility trials. But also things that I needed to remember.
As most of my readers know, my biological son was given my contact information by his parents starting in May of this year and he used it. Now he and I have never actually spoken (okay not since the day after he was born - he won't remember that) nor seen each other in person. All of our contact is online: chat, WoW, Facebook, Twitter, et cetera.
He knows how to get in touch with me when needed and I do hope to actually get to speak with him and meet him in person some day. It's his call to make, literally and figuratively.
That said, I wanted him to have something from me, so I have a hat in the works that he knows about. I'm also making a shawl for his mom. But those kinds of things are easy.
A few weeks ago I was browsing online looking for new pendants to go with the one mentioned above. Simple statements, nothing overtly religious since I'm not at all religious and I came across a cute little charm for a charm bracelet.
It was a little black enamel Scottie dog with a red enamel bow set in sterling silver. Now Alex lost his Mattie dog (a Scottie) back in May rather unexpectedly. And I'll see a post from him every so often about how much he misses him (and I don't blame him - I miss Smokey Cat fiercely right now and I'd give just about anything to have my Herky cat back and he's been gone 22 years).
The charm seemed perfect so I ordered it. Now I know where his parents live. I can pull their address up any time I want. I didn't have Alex's and I was afraid to ask for it and he hadn't offered. I didn't and still don't know how he'd feel about getting something tangible from me.
It took a couple of weeks to get up the nerve to ask him for his mailing address at school. He was kind enough to supply it. So I bought a card and stuck the charm in it and away it went.
I have no idea if he's received it or not. When he does, I hope he likes it, rather then is upset by it, since that was not my intent. Maybe he can stick it on his keychain or his back pack. Hopefully, as the pain of the loss lessens, when he sees it and thinks of Mattie, he can remember all the fun times they had together as boy and dog, as friends.
But it's something tangible and hopefully worth keeping. Unlike the monster tin of cookies I also had delivered that I'm sure he and his roommates have inhaled by now.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
No Longer a Teen
20 years old.
It is a milestone.
I cannot believe it has been that long.
From what contact I have had in the past week, you are...
amazing
kind
hyper
happy
generous
gregarious
smart
Thank you for being willing to let me into your life at this time.
Happy Happy Birthday. Hope it is a great one.
It is a milestone.
I cannot believe it has been that long.
From what contact I have had in the past week, you are...
amazing
kind
hyper
happy
generous
gregarious
smart
Thank you for being willing to let me into your life at this time.
Happy Happy Birthday. Hope it is a great one.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
He's not Gone...
but neither is he mine.
Today is my son's 19th birthday.
Last year I asked y'all what route I should take regarding getting in touch with him.
(For those of you just now joining the show, he was put up for adoption)
I haven't contacted his family directly yet. But I did register with the International Reunion Registry. Nothing else to date.
Maybe I'll be more brave (braver? CV help me out here) this year.
And speaking of kids. The little plague carrier that we brought home last Monday is still with us. Slugbo and I spent the weekend sick. I officially have bronchitis.
That's right folks. Head cold to bronchitis in 3 days flat. That has to be a record somewhere. But thankfully I got in to the see the doc today so we can get rid of it now rather than 3 weeks from now like I tried last year at this VERY SAME TIME.
Apparently spring equals bronchitis in my land now.
And the little plague carrier...
She's an absolute doll. And there WAY too much pink and Disney Princess stuff in my house. But you know what...
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today is my son's 19th birthday.
Last year I asked y'all what route I should take regarding getting in touch with him.
(For those of you just now joining the show, he was put up for adoption)
I haven't contacted his family directly yet. But I did register with the International Reunion Registry. Nothing else to date.
Maybe I'll be more brave (braver? CV help me out here) this year.
And speaking of kids. The little plague carrier that we brought home last Monday is still with us. Slugbo and I spent the weekend sick. I officially have bronchitis.
That's right folks. Head cold to bronchitis in 3 days flat. That has to be a record somewhere. But thankfully I got in to the see the doc today so we can get rid of it now rather than 3 weeks from now like I tried last year at this VERY SAME TIME.
Apparently spring equals bronchitis in my land now.
And the little plague carrier...
She's an absolute doll. And there WAY too much pink and Disney Princess stuff in my house. But you know what...
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday, July 14, 2008
What would you do?
I don't know what to do.
I have a son that I gave up for adoption. He turned 18 in May. I know where he is, I know his parents name and address.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if he knows he's adopted.
I want to let them have my contact information. As an adoptee myself, I know how hard it was to find my birthmother. As a birthmother I want to make it easier for him, while being terrified that he won't want to meet me. I cannot say that I blame him. I've been where he is and my birthmother is a real piece of work.
I have a very close friend that lives 15 minutes from him who will let me use her as a reference. Her daughter knows him through Facebook. It truly is a small world.
So do I:
Contact him directly?
Contact his parents first?
Go through an intermediary?
I have registered with the International Reunion Registry.
What would you do?
I have a son that I gave up for adoption. He turned 18 in May. I know where he is, I know his parents name and address.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if he knows he's adopted.
I want to let them have my contact information. As an adoptee myself, I know how hard it was to find my birthmother. As a birthmother I want to make it easier for him, while being terrified that he won't want to meet me. I cannot say that I blame him. I've been where he is and my birthmother is a real piece of work.
I have a very close friend that lives 15 minutes from him who will let me use her as a reference. Her daughter knows him through Facebook. It truly is a small world.
So do I:
Contact him directly?
Contact his parents first?
Go through an intermediary?
I have registered with the International Reunion Registry.
What would you do?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)