Yeah I still suck.
I spend so much of Cliff the Mutt's own birthday telling him how amazing it is that I've had him since he was 4 months old that I forget to tell of you about it.
Cliff the Mutt's birthday was this past Monday. He's 11. I was home sick so I got to spend the day with my boy.
He's a therapy dog.
He's about to become a reading program dog.
He's the best four legged thing that ever came into my life and I love him dearly.
I passed another birthday this week.
Little N turned 4 Wednesday.
We haven't heard anything from her new home. I sent a card. We got her a present, but we are trying to find out how to get it to her without annoying anybody.
We still miss her.
Life goes on.
Showing posts with label foster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Roadblocks Keep Coming
Come back later for an update. Right now the mood is not conducive to coherent communication.
PS - On a good note, the family that Little N is going to is very nice and we believe they will do a fine job with her and her sister, Little T, and we will probably still get to see her from time to time.
PPS - Happy 23rd Birthday to my nephew Michael. Get your head out of your b* and you might actually make it to your 24th. :-)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Not Sure How Much More
I can be expected to take.
1. They are putting little N's sister into a concurrent planning home this weekend.
2. They scheduled the transition meeting to map out how to move Little N into the same home for Monday, even though Slugbo clearly told the woman handling the scheduling that he cannot make it and I cannot make it.
3. So they are making decisions for Little N without any input from us. They are putting her little sister into a home where the mom speaks next to no English. This is great for the little sister, but little N doesn't know Spanish. Her sister is only two and will be easier to get her to switch to English, rather than force N to switch to Spanish.
4. They are going to trigger more nightmares about Mexico for little N by placing her in this home. I have nothing against the couple they are placing her with, I just believe they chose very poorly. They are looking at her last name rather then at HER.
5. State Adoptions shut us down completely today. They have told us to use the private agency we were referred to. They are citing budget constraints (stupid effing state government that doesn't know how to save money without screwing over programs that are needed). They are not moving forward with any couples that are not already in the home study process. They will be calling the private agency directly to let them know it is okay to work with us in this aspect (the supervisor at State Adoptions is married to the Foster Coordinator at the private agency - sigh). We start from square one.
We just want to help give a child(ren) a safe loving home.
This day needs to end.
1. They are putting little N's sister into a concurrent planning home this weekend.
2. They scheduled the transition meeting to map out how to move Little N into the same home for Monday, even though Slugbo clearly told the woman handling the scheduling that he cannot make it and I cannot make it.
3. So they are making decisions for Little N without any input from us. They are putting her little sister into a home where the mom speaks next to no English. This is great for the little sister, but little N doesn't know Spanish. Her sister is only two and will be easier to get her to switch to English, rather than force N to switch to Spanish.
4. They are going to trigger more nightmares about Mexico for little N by placing her in this home. I have nothing against the couple they are placing her with, I just believe they chose very poorly. They are looking at her last name rather then at HER.
5. State Adoptions shut us down completely today. They have told us to use the private agency we were referred to. They are citing budget constraints (stupid effing state government that doesn't know how to save money without screwing over programs that are needed). They are not moving forward with any couples that are not already in the home study process. They will be calling the private agency directly to let them know it is okay to work with us in this aspect (the supervisor at State Adoptions is married to the Foster Coordinator at the private agency - sigh). We start from square one.
We just want to help give a child(ren) a safe loving home.
This day needs to end.
Monday, June 29, 2009
The Mother of All...
monkey wrenches.
It was set. The transition plan was formed up last Friday. Little N was supposed to spend most of this week with her new concurrent planning family, with the final drop off happening on Thursday, July 2nd at 2 pm.
I put in to have the day off.
We planned some fun things for the weekend and intended to include the new family.
Slugbo called the family first thing Saturday and found out that everything was placed on hold.
Excuse me? Hunh? And we had to find out from them because.... Whatever. Sigh.
It appears that Mom wasn't very smart to bring little N's little sister, T, back into the country with her after her visit to Mexico.
Social Services intended to pull T over the weekend. The new family wasn't sure they wanted two more kids, rather than one. So we were waiting.
We took N to the fair on Saturday (after most of the heat of the day passed). Spent part of Sunday melting at the Pacific Coast Air Museum (she likes planes the little tomboy).
This morning we waited for the phone calls. Little T did get pulled over the weekend and placed in an EFH in Petaluma. The new family decided they don't want two siblings. Everything is on hold.
So we get little N for who knows how long. We aren't approved for 2 yet, but we are trying in the hope that little T can come to us since we think it will be better for both girls.
Yes we know that can come back to bite us and they might pull N and T both and put them in a separate EFH that can take both of them.
I met little T today at lunch time and Slugbo brought N down for a play date with her sister.
This is so hard for N. I watched her go into shut down mode. She wasn't happy when Slug put T on his lap to show her the pictures their mom gave N (she is his shadow). So N climbed in mine (a poor second mind you). Though she said she was glad to see her sister, all the emotion was on T's side and she was VERY happy to see her big sister.
The next few days should be very interesting. I expect a few meltdowns.
Now to learn some Spanish since that is all that Little T speaks.
BTW We get to take Little N camping at the Delta for July 4 weekend. If the original plan had happened, she would have missed it in spite of us pretty much begging that she get to go just for the weekend.
It was set. The transition plan was formed up last Friday. Little N was supposed to spend most of this week with her new concurrent planning family, with the final drop off happening on Thursday, July 2nd at 2 pm.
I put in to have the day off.
We planned some fun things for the weekend and intended to include the new family.
Slugbo called the family first thing Saturday and found out that everything was placed on hold.
Excuse me? Hunh? And we had to find out from them because.... Whatever. Sigh.
It appears that Mom wasn't very smart to bring little N's little sister, T, back into the country with her after her visit to Mexico.
Social Services intended to pull T over the weekend. The new family wasn't sure they wanted two more kids, rather than one. So we were waiting.
We took N to the fair on Saturday (after most of the heat of the day passed). Spent part of Sunday melting at the Pacific Coast Air Museum (she likes planes the little tomboy).
This morning we waited for the phone calls. Little T did get pulled over the weekend and placed in an EFH in Petaluma. The new family decided they don't want two siblings. Everything is on hold.
So we get little N for who knows how long. We aren't approved for 2 yet, but we are trying in the hope that little T can come to us since we think it will be better for both girls.
Yes we know that can come back to bite us and they might pull N and T both and put them in a separate EFH that can take both of them.
I met little T today at lunch time and Slugbo brought N down for a play date with her sister.
This is so hard for N. I watched her go into shut down mode. She wasn't happy when Slug put T on his lap to show her the pictures their mom gave N (she is his shadow). So N climbed in mine (a poor second mind you). Though she said she was glad to see her sister, all the emotion was on T's side and she was VERY happy to see her big sister.
The next few days should be very interesting. I expect a few meltdowns.
Now to learn some Spanish since that is all that Little T speaks.
BTW We get to take Little N camping at the Delta for July 4 weekend. If the original plan had happened, she would have missed it in spite of us pretty much begging that she get to go just for the weekend.
Friday, June 19, 2009
To Explain a Few Things
I realize that some of the people that pop in here have no idea how the Foster System in California works. I'm part of it and I don't fully understand it.
It used to be that you could just shuffle kids around the system for years while the parental units tried to get their act together before some judge or other would finally have had enough of the crap on the parents part and let the kid be adopted. Yes I mean years.
This was overhauled a few years ago. The parents get 12 to 18 months to get their act together and the steps are laid out for them at the beginning. During that time the child will be placed into a concurrent planning home, where the child will most likely be adopted by their concurrent planning placement family if the parents don't meet the courts requirement to get the child back. This is basically a fost/adopt home.
Little N came to us in a different situation. She came straight into Emergency Care. We got her because we are an EFH (Emergency Foster Home) . Children that come into the system under extreme circumstances get placed into EFH. These are considered temporary placements until the court decides what the parents are going to have to do to get her back.
They are at the stage with Little N's mom that she is not getting her back right away and therefore they need to start the concurrent planning process for her. She has a Concurrent Planning Social Worker assigned to her who's job it is to find her a possible forever home in the Foster System. We want to be her concurrent planning home.
However, we are only licensed for fostering, so we cannot be a concurrent planning home for any child. We are not certified for adoption because we are not getting anywhere with State Adoptions, more specifically our Adoption Specialist. We haven't even been able to really start the process.
They want me to get grief and loss counseling because I need to come to terms with the fact that I cannot have kids of my own. While I want to tell them exactly what they can do with that particular bit of advice, I am looking up grief and loss counselors right now, so I can say 'See I did it. I wasted a ton of money on therapy and I will probably still cry about the fact that I cannot have more kids.'
I'm a crier. I didn't used to be, but I was lucky enough to finally marry someone that wants me to show emotion. I don't have to lock it all up inside. So SA needs to get over it. I still cry about my brother and that was over 20 years ago. I still cry when I talk about giving my son up for adoption and that was 19 years ago. Give me a stinking break people. But I digressed into a rant and this is not a situation I'm allowed to lose my temper over (though trust me, I want to so very badly because it might be the only way to get through to these people).
So our options are this.
1. Our Adoption Specialist's last day was yesterday. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am about this. So we will be getting a new AS. But, if the ex-AS was simply following the company line, I'm still screwed. But we could get lucky and the new persn could actually be willing to see that we will make great parents.
2. We go with an outside agency. Uur EFH coordinator has recommended this and little N's concurrent planning SW has recommended this. If we do this, we would probably still lose out on getting to keep little N, but we'd be in shape for the next child that crosses our path. But I have a packet coming in the mail and hubby and I will probably be setting up a meeting with them soon.
Now this needs to be said. I am not vilifying State Adoptions as a whole. I have no intention of doing that. It serves no purpose and they are doing the best that they can. However I do believe that our Adoption Specialist was fairly new to the system and she was given an instruction on how to deal with people that jump straight in after having their own kids has failed and I think she took it farther than necessary.
She's refusing to see that we don't fit the mold that directive was issued for. We contacted them BEFORE we started IVF. We've explained that we still wanted to be fost/adopt even if we managed to have our own children. The foster people had no problem with this and still don't. SA made us wait till we were finished trying the medical route to conception. We waited. That route dead ended and now still, 3 MONTHS later, it's still too soon for them to be willing to start the process with us because they don't think I've come to terms with it because I still cry.
I believe this is wrong.
So I've posted the information for that friend because she and her husband want to write a letter on our behalf. I'm not asking anyone else to do this. But those of you that know me in person maybe if you think you could help, it would be appreciated.
Here is their address:
California State Adoptions
101 Golf Course Drive
Suite 250
MS 28-09
Rohnert Park, CA 94928
C/o Amy VanLeeuwen (this is NOT our AS, this is her supervisor)
As always I will keep ya'll posted. And if we lose little N, we will still try to make sure she's in a home that will care for her the same way we have.
(and yeah I'm crying right now - I know life is unfair but you figure at some point something has to happen to make it all break even)
It used to be that you could just shuffle kids around the system for years while the parental units tried to get their act together before some judge or other would finally have had enough of the crap on the parents part and let the kid be adopted. Yes I mean years.
This was overhauled a few years ago. The parents get 12 to 18 months to get their act together and the steps are laid out for them at the beginning. During that time the child will be placed into a concurrent planning home, where the child will most likely be adopted by their concurrent planning placement family if the parents don't meet the courts requirement to get the child back. This is basically a fost/adopt home.
Little N came to us in a different situation. She came straight into Emergency Care. We got her because we are an EFH (Emergency Foster Home) . Children that come into the system under extreme circumstances get placed into EFH. These are considered temporary placements until the court decides what the parents are going to have to do to get her back.
They are at the stage with Little N's mom that she is not getting her back right away and therefore they need to start the concurrent planning process for her. She has a Concurrent Planning Social Worker assigned to her who's job it is to find her a possible forever home in the Foster System. We want to be her concurrent planning home.
However, we are only licensed for fostering, so we cannot be a concurrent planning home for any child. We are not certified for adoption because we are not getting anywhere with State Adoptions, more specifically our Adoption Specialist. We haven't even been able to really start the process.
They want me to get grief and loss counseling because I need to come to terms with the fact that I cannot have kids of my own. While I want to tell them exactly what they can do with that particular bit of advice, I am looking up grief and loss counselors right now, so I can say 'See I did it. I wasted a ton of money on therapy and I will probably still cry about the fact that I cannot have more kids.'
I'm a crier. I didn't used to be, but I was lucky enough to finally marry someone that wants me to show emotion. I don't have to lock it all up inside. So SA needs to get over it. I still cry about my brother and that was over 20 years ago. I still cry when I talk about giving my son up for adoption and that was 19 years ago. Give me a stinking break people. But I digressed into a rant and this is not a situation I'm allowed to lose my temper over (though trust me, I want to so very badly because it might be the only way to get through to these people).
So our options are this.
1. Our Adoption Specialist's last day was yesterday. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am about this. So we will be getting a new AS. But, if the ex-AS was simply following the company line, I'm still screwed. But we could get lucky and the new persn could actually be willing to see that we will make great parents.
2. We go with an outside agency. Uur EFH coordinator has recommended this and little N's concurrent planning SW has recommended this. If we do this, we would probably still lose out on getting to keep little N, but we'd be in shape for the next child that crosses our path. But I have a packet coming in the mail and hubby and I will probably be setting up a meeting with them soon.
Now this needs to be said. I am not vilifying State Adoptions as a whole. I have no intention of doing that. It serves no purpose and they are doing the best that they can. However I do believe that our Adoption Specialist was fairly new to the system and she was given an instruction on how to deal with people that jump straight in after having their own kids has failed and I think she took it farther than necessary.
She's refusing to see that we don't fit the mold that directive was issued for. We contacted them BEFORE we started IVF. We've explained that we still wanted to be fost/adopt even if we managed to have our own children. The foster people had no problem with this and still don't. SA made us wait till we were finished trying the medical route to conception. We waited. That route dead ended and now still, 3 MONTHS later, it's still too soon for them to be willing to start the process with us because they don't think I've come to terms with it because I still cry.
I believe this is wrong.
So I've posted the information for that friend because she and her husband want to write a letter on our behalf. I'm not asking anyone else to do this. But those of you that know me in person maybe if you think you could help, it would be appreciated.
Here is their address:
California State Adoptions
101 Golf Course Drive
Suite 250
MS 28-09
Rohnert Park, CA 94928
C/o Amy VanLeeuwen (this is NOT our AS, this is her supervisor)
As always I will keep ya'll posted. And if we lose little N, we will still try to make sure she's in a home that will care for her the same way we have.
(and yeah I'm crying right now - I know life is unfair but you figure at some point something has to happen to make it all break even)
Friday, May 29, 2009
In the Blink of an Eye
You can go from a very angry three year old that just came out of anesthesia to this:
Yesterday was her dental surgery to take care of the bottle rot we found when she was placed with us.
Slugbo and the County Foster Nurse pulled every string imaginable to get a court order in record time and all the medical clearances, since we had to put her under for this.
We got up at 5:45a. Pulled her straight out of bed at 6:20a and off to the clinic. We were the first ones there so we went right in. The more pre op stuff we talked about the more upset you could see her getting. They decided to give her something to calm her down and we ended up having to force her to take it. :-(
2.5 hours later (about 9:30) we were called back in and she was waking up. That little girl has a set of lungs on her. The dentist might now be considering soundproofing the recovery room in the near future. She fought us every step of the way in getting the IV out (she almost ripped it out in spite of Slug holding her down). When we thought (ha!) she's calmed down enough, Slugbo picked her up to take her to the car while I finished gathering paperwork.
I got out to the parking lot and she was screaming full force again and trying to launch herself out of his arms. The ride home was difficult since she didn't want to be restrained. Hello seat belt.
The minute we got home, all the fighting stopped.
She slept on that off for part of the day. We broke the no full day of TV rule considering what she'd been through that morning. They were able to save the molars. So she's missing all her front teeth on the top.
She was her normal happy playing smiling self by end of day.
The pic above is even more special for one main reason. She's curled up with one of the cats. This is the little darling that won't touch any of the animals (though she actually pet Nemo for the first time Wednesday and called him by name) if it can at all be avoided. But she let Nemo stay by her for the better part of the day.
Today is her first mom visit since we got her. Cross your fingers. Slugbo is handling it alone.
*disclaimer* I took a small chance posting this pic, but know that with this post and all future involving our placements I will:
1. NEVER post if I think their family might see it (odds are minimal here)
2. NEVER post if the child was removed from the home because they were in danger from the parents.
3. I will never put their complete name here or any part of it really except maybe the first initial
Yesterday was her dental surgery to take care of the bottle rot we found when she was placed with us.Slugbo and the County Foster Nurse pulled every string imaginable to get a court order in record time and all the medical clearances, since we had to put her under for this.
We got up at 5:45a. Pulled her straight out of bed at 6:20a and off to the clinic. We were the first ones there so we went right in. The more pre op stuff we talked about the more upset you could see her getting. They decided to give her something to calm her down and we ended up having to force her to take it. :-(
2.5 hours later (about 9:30) we were called back in and she was waking up. That little girl has a set of lungs on her. The dentist might now be considering soundproofing the recovery room in the near future. She fought us every step of the way in getting the IV out (she almost ripped it out in spite of Slug holding her down). When we thought (ha!) she's calmed down enough, Slugbo picked her up to take her to the car while I finished gathering paperwork.
I got out to the parking lot and she was screaming full force again and trying to launch herself out of his arms. The ride home was difficult since she didn't want to be restrained. Hello seat belt.
The minute we got home, all the fighting stopped.
She slept on that off for part of the day. We broke the no full day of TV rule considering what she'd been through that morning. They were able to save the molars. So she's missing all her front teeth on the top.
She was her normal happy playing smiling self by end of day.
The pic above is even more special for one main reason. She's curled up with one of the cats. This is the little darling that won't touch any of the animals (though she actually pet Nemo for the first time Wednesday and called him by name) if it can at all be avoided. But she let Nemo stay by her for the better part of the day.
Today is her first mom visit since we got her. Cross your fingers. Slugbo is handling it alone.
*disclaimer* I took a small chance posting this pic, but know that with this post and all future involving our placements I will:
1. NEVER post if I think their family might see it (odds are minimal here)
2. NEVER post if the child was removed from the home because they were in danger from the parents.
3. I will never put their complete name here or any part of it really except maybe the first initial
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
He's not Gone...
but neither is he mine.
Today is my son's 19th birthday.
Last year I asked y'all what route I should take regarding getting in touch with him.
(For those of you just now joining the show, he was put up for adoption)
I haven't contacted his family directly yet. But I did register with the International Reunion Registry. Nothing else to date.
Maybe I'll be more brave (braver? CV help me out here) this year.
And speaking of kids. The little plague carrier that we brought home last Monday is still with us. Slugbo and I spent the weekend sick. I officially have bronchitis.
That's right folks. Head cold to bronchitis in 3 days flat. That has to be a record somewhere. But thankfully I got in to the see the doc today so we can get rid of it now rather than 3 weeks from now like I tried last year at this VERY SAME TIME.
Apparently spring equals bronchitis in my land now.
And the little plague carrier...
She's an absolute doll. And there WAY too much pink and Disney Princess stuff in my house. But you know what...
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today is my son's 19th birthday.
Last year I asked y'all what route I should take regarding getting in touch with him.
(For those of you just now joining the show, he was put up for adoption)
I haven't contacted his family directly yet. But I did register with the International Reunion Registry. Nothing else to date.
Maybe I'll be more brave (braver? CV help me out here) this year.
And speaking of kids. The little plague carrier that we brought home last Monday is still with us. Slugbo and I spent the weekend sick. I officially have bronchitis.
That's right folks. Head cold to bronchitis in 3 days flat. That has to be a record somewhere. But thankfully I got in to the see the doc today so we can get rid of it now rather than 3 weeks from now like I tried last year at this VERY SAME TIME.
Apparently spring equals bronchitis in my land now.
And the little plague carrier...
She's an absolute doll. And there WAY too much pink and Disney Princess stuff in my house. But you know what...
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Normal is as Normal does
Alison's comment on the last post made a valid point. What exactly constitutes normal at my house these days?
We spent four years trying to have kids and our life was somewhat tied up in that. But that's done.
We have/had the little demon dog from h* (Scrat the Brat), but he's actually turning into a really good little dog so things are easier with him.
We have been licensed foster parents for almost a year with no placements, but that could change.
We spent the last year playing Travian on server6, but that server is over for round one and hubby will find himself wifeless if he starts up with another server.
The past two weeks have been spent dealing with the disappointment of the failed IVF (I'm kind of doing better), the physical pain that is still a part of that (seems we hit a nerve on each side with the last two progesterone shots), hubby's 40th birthday BBQ was a success and...
We got approved for the Foster folk's Emergency Services Program. We went active this morning. We are taking ages 4 to 6. We could get a call any minute, hour, day now, but I'll believe it when it happens.
That said we spent the weekend finally finishing the paint job in the only other bedroom that still had spackle spots on the wall:
That is B3. This will probably be the kid's room for now. The other room (blue and green) ended up being what we call the Pennsylvania Room. It holds the antiques and art from his mom's house. She would have loved visiting that room.
Since B3 was the "Game Room" you can see one the shelves that hold some toys (the Starter Logs box is lego's people). There is a matching one to the left of the window that holds all the board games.
There is a big open area in the middle as a play area, and I'll get the bench cleaned out so it can be used as a toy box.
The sailboats where chosen to cover the previous border that the previous owner stopped three feet short on and it was hubby's game room. So a boy would fit better in the room, but I hope we have the option of getting a little girl too. And given how fast that border went up, hubby and I are placing bets on how soon it falls down.
Let me know what you think while Slugbo and I figure out what normal is going forward.
We spent four years trying to have kids and our life was somewhat tied up in that. But that's done.
We have/had the little demon dog from h* (Scrat the Brat), but he's actually turning into a really good little dog so things are easier with him.
We have been licensed foster parents for almost a year with no placements, but that could change.
We spent the last year playing Travian on server6, but that server is over for round one and hubby will find himself wifeless if he starts up with another server.
The past two weeks have been spent dealing with the disappointment of the failed IVF (I'm kind of doing better), the physical pain that is still a part of that (seems we hit a nerve on each side with the last two progesterone shots), hubby's 40th birthday BBQ was a success and...
We got approved for the Foster folk's Emergency Services Program. We went active this morning. We are taking ages 4 to 6. We could get a call any minute, hour, day now, but I'll believe it when it happens.
That said we spent the weekend finally finishing the paint job in the only other bedroom that still had spackle spots on the wall:That is B3. This will probably be the kid's room for now. The other room (blue and green) ended up being what we call the Pennsylvania Room. It holds the antiques and art from his mom's house. She would have loved visiting that room.
Since B3 was the "Game Room" you can see one the shelves that hold some toys (the Starter Logs box is lego's people). There is a matching one to the left of the window that holds all the board games.
There is a big open area in the middle as a play area, and I'll get the bench cleaned out so it can be used as a toy box.
The sailboats where chosen to cover the previous border that the previous owner stopped three feet short on and it was hubby's game room. So a boy would fit better in the room, but I hope we have the option of getting a little girl too. And given how fast that border went up, hubby and I are placing bets on how soon it falls down.Let me know what you think while Slugbo and I figure out what normal is going forward.
Monday, November 24, 2008
That Kind of Day
Hubby let's me know after my alarm went off that Smokey Cat had been in the house all night. This is the cat that doesn't use the community litter box.
So I get up and grab the black light and start sniffing out 'accidents'. Find nothing and hit the shower.
Battle with Scrat monster over the muzzle. I think I'm winning (ha)
Head to car.
Grab socks from purse to put in gym bag, notice they are wet. What? Smell them.
Smokey Cat peed IN MY PURSE. My Hollywood Pink Malibu Namaste bag. IN IT!
Pull everything out that is wet and does not reek and throw into spare bag in car and head to work after going back in and grabbing the black light and telling hubby.
Scream all way to work (he ruined my Winnie the Pooh wallet too which I cannot replace).
Get to work and make sure the pee didn't get on my knitting. Noro Silk Garden need I say more?
Figure out I can pull the liner most of the way out and stick it in the sink (after emailing Namaste directly). Wash it thoroughly with soap and water. Slap in front of space heater at work.
Go to lunch to find new wallet (love Wilson Leather Outlet).
Come back and liner is dry and doesn't stink. Woo hoo. Maybe saved. May still have to rip out bottom seam of liner and scrub leatherette inside per Namaste.
Get call from hubby that Foster Lady returned my call. They still think we will only take a child we can adopt. Which means our placement has to come from adoption. Who still won't send me the paperwork because I'm undergoing fertility treatment (called again today to beg for the paperwork - didn't work). Hopefully have cleared this up again. We will take a child that might go home. We understand that. We are prepared. We don't care. We just want a child in our home. We are ready. Was told that if we still don't have a placement in 2 months we should go to a private foster agency. Which means relicensing.
I am going to pull my hair out.
But it sure looks like we won't have a placement before Christmas.
And yeah I'm crying.
So I get up and grab the black light and start sniffing out 'accidents'. Find nothing and hit the shower.
Battle with Scrat monster over the muzzle. I think I'm winning (ha)
Head to car.
Grab socks from purse to put in gym bag, notice they are wet. What? Smell them.
Smokey Cat peed IN MY PURSE. My Hollywood Pink Malibu Namaste bag. IN IT!
Pull everything out that is wet and does not reek and throw into spare bag in car and head to work after going back in and grabbing the black light and telling hubby.
Scream all way to work (he ruined my Winnie the Pooh wallet too which I cannot replace).
Get to work and make sure the pee didn't get on my knitting. Noro Silk Garden need I say more?
Figure out I can pull the liner most of the way out and stick it in the sink (after emailing Namaste directly). Wash it thoroughly with soap and water. Slap in front of space heater at work.
Go to lunch to find new wallet (love Wilson Leather Outlet).
Come back and liner is dry and doesn't stink. Woo hoo. Maybe saved. May still have to rip out bottom seam of liner and scrub leatherette inside per Namaste.
Get call from hubby that Foster Lady returned my call. They still think we will only take a child we can adopt. Which means our placement has to come from adoption. Who still won't send me the paperwork because I'm undergoing fertility treatment (called again today to beg for the paperwork - didn't work). Hopefully have cleared this up again. We will take a child that might go home. We understand that. We are prepared. We don't care. We just want a child in our home. We are ready. Was told that if we still don't have a placement in 2 months we should go to a private foster agency. Which means relicensing.
I am going to pull my hair out.
But it sure looks like we won't have a placement before Christmas.
And yeah I'm crying.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Tired of the Brick Wall
It seems we get one step closer to getting a child in our home only to find out something else is standing in our way.
We got our foster license 5 weeks ago. We've been hoping for a phone call, something anything, saying come meet this child we hope to place with you. I've been patient and not called the social worker every single day since the license came in the mail. I only called once to apologize for missing the picnic when I first got sick.
I caved today and called my social worker (SW) at Family, Youth and Children's Services and politely asked if there was anything we should be doing to get a placement sooner.
The first thing my licensing SW said was well how far along in the adoption process are you? I was thinking what the h* does that have to do with getting a foster child. I said not very far because they will not give me the paperwork because we are still trying to get pregnant with medical intervention. Full disclosure here people.
However I was calling them (my adoption specialist) back this week and saying "Look! See! Still NOT PREGNANT! Send me the frakking paperwork. " But I shall wait until I'm not so pissy about it.
So I nicely told the SW that I was calling the adoption specialist back this week and requesting the paperwork.
She said okay and that our placement would probably come through the adoption people because we are listed as a Fost/Adopt home. Again with the people that won't deal with me yet.
So I asked her if that meant that we would get a placement when we start the process with the Adoption people, or if that meant we had to wait till we got approved by them. She said it wouldn't be until we got approved by them. At least 6 months away. And that is if I'd already submitted the paperwork I cannot have.
I asked the SW why we couldn't have a placement now. We fully understand that it may not be permanent, that the child may go home or to a relative. That is always the hope. We are more than willing to offer a child a safe and loving environment until their situation is worked out, or they move on to their permanent home, if ours does not suit them.
She said that she thought that we were only interested in children with minimal legal risk, meaning a very small likelihood of going home. I think I set her straight on that, politely and calmly.
That we are still open to any age group. When it comes time for permanent placement a younger child MIGHT (big big might there people) be preferred if only in regards to attachment issues. But I flat out said simply that we are ready to have a child in our home, even if that child isn't there to stay.
We are fully prepared to have to let the child go. Why else have I been reading every attachment, adoption, parenting hurt children book I can get my hands on for the past 6 months?
At the end of the conversation (in which I congratulated myself for not screaming my fool head off at the woman - I really really wanted to) she said she would send an email out to her staff within the next few days letting them know we are available and ready.
I hung up, promptly burst into tears, and called Ken and made sure I hadn't told her anything he did not agree with as well.
Yes I'm complaining again. But this shouldn't be this hard. A bunch of dingbat teenagers can get pregnant as part of a pact, but I cannot help some child get through a very traumatic experience and give them a safe loving environment in which to heal, maybe for a little while, maybe forever.
This brick wall hurts and I'm a little tired of banging my head on it.
We got our foster license 5 weeks ago. We've been hoping for a phone call, something anything, saying come meet this child we hope to place with you. I've been patient and not called the social worker every single day since the license came in the mail. I only called once to apologize for missing the picnic when I first got sick.
I caved today and called my social worker (SW) at Family, Youth and Children's Services and politely asked if there was anything we should be doing to get a placement sooner.
The first thing my licensing SW said was well how far along in the adoption process are you? I was thinking what the h* does that have to do with getting a foster child. I said not very far because they will not give me the paperwork because we are still trying to get pregnant with medical intervention. Full disclosure here people.
However I was calling them (my adoption specialist) back this week and saying "Look! See! Still NOT PREGNANT! Send me the frakking paperwork. " But I shall wait until I'm not so pissy about it.
So I nicely told the SW that I was calling the adoption specialist back this week and requesting the paperwork.
She said okay and that our placement would probably come through the adoption people because we are listed as a Fost/Adopt home. Again with the people that won't deal with me yet.
So I asked her if that meant that we would get a placement when we start the process with the Adoption people, or if that meant we had to wait till we got approved by them. She said it wouldn't be until we got approved by them. At least 6 months away. And that is if I'd already submitted the paperwork I cannot have.
I asked the SW why we couldn't have a placement now. We fully understand that it may not be permanent, that the child may go home or to a relative. That is always the hope. We are more than willing to offer a child a safe and loving environment until their situation is worked out, or they move on to their permanent home, if ours does not suit them.
She said that she thought that we were only interested in children with minimal legal risk, meaning a very small likelihood of going home. I think I set her straight on that, politely and calmly.
That we are still open to any age group. When it comes time for permanent placement a younger child MIGHT (big big might there people) be preferred if only in regards to attachment issues. But I flat out said simply that we are ready to have a child in our home, even if that child isn't there to stay.
We are fully prepared to have to let the child go. Why else have I been reading every attachment, adoption, parenting hurt children book I can get my hands on for the past 6 months?
At the end of the conversation (in which I congratulated myself for not screaming my fool head off at the woman - I really really wanted to) she said she would send an email out to her staff within the next few days letting them know we are available and ready.
I hung up, promptly burst into tears, and called Ken and made sure I hadn't told her anything he did not agree with as well.
Yes I'm complaining again. But this shouldn't be this hard. A bunch of dingbat teenagers can get pregnant as part of a pact, but I cannot help some child get through a very traumatic experience and give them a safe loving environment in which to heal, maybe for a little while, maybe forever.
This brick wall hurts and I'm a little tired of banging my head on it.
Monday, June 16, 2008
You should be very very glad...
that I missed knit group this past weekend and the one before.
I have bronchitis. I never knew until today that it is contagious. At least one of my co-workers is going to kill me when they find out. Sigh.
I now have good drugs that hopefully will work at least on the coughing.
There's been knitting, and Travian, and Pirates, and construction, but I'm going to go see if I keep my lungs INSIDE my chest for a little while longer.
However still no munchkins yet. We are hoping for a placement call soon.
I have bronchitis. I never knew until today that it is contagious. At least one of my co-workers is going to kill me when they find out. Sigh.
I now have good drugs that hopefully will work at least on the coughing.
There's been knitting, and Travian, and Pirates, and construction, but I'm going to go see if I keep my lungs INSIDE my chest for a little while longer.
However still no munchkins yet. We are hoping for a placement call soon.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Rinella Foster Home
Guess what I'm looking at right now?
Okay the computer screen doesn't count. I can touch type, you know. ;-)
Foster Parent Identification Card ****** County Human Services Department
Foster Parent Name: Jennifer Rinella
Expiration Date: 5/23/2013
Name of Facility: Rinella Foster Home
How absolutely cool is that?!?!?! I am so excited. And I so wanted to tell someone, but couldn't think of anyone to call (no offense T, you have to put up with me all day at work). So I'm telling all of you.
It's Official!
At some point I'll stop tearing up thinking about it.
I cannot wait till we get our first placement. And, yeah, we got licensed for any age 0 to 18.
It's going to be a wild ride, but we are ready. It's time.
Okay the computer screen doesn't count. I can touch type, you know. ;-)
Foster Parent Identification Card ****** County Human Services Department
Foster Parent Name: Jennifer Rinella
Expiration Date: 5/23/2013
Name of Facility: Rinella Foster Home
How absolutely cool is that?!?!?! I am so excited. And I so wanted to tell someone, but couldn't think of anyone to call (no offense T, you have to put up with me all day at work). So I'm telling all of you.
It's Official!
At some point I'll stop tearing up thinking about it.
I cannot wait till we get our first placement. And, yeah, we got licensed for any age 0 to 18.
It's going to be a wild ride, but we are ready. It's time.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Busy is as Busy Does
and boy are we busy.
We are in the home stretch for the foster licensing.
Well is being shocked tomorrow. We have negligible amounts of arsenic in our water (woo hoo). The property is looking really good. I think I have a home lined up for the fish pond and resident turtle. I have my medical clearance and I don't have TB (score!). I think all of our references have been turned in (at least two that I know of) and I haven't heard anything about our criminal clearances, so for the time being I'm assuming all is well.
So what's left?
Childproofing the house, namely the kitchen.
Just how hard is it to childproof something that doesn't have doors? Point in case being my lovely huge monstrous island.
This was a great freebie. Our kitchen wouldn't be nearly as great as it is without it. Real maple butcher block top. Extremely UGLY everything else. Doors got removed and the whole thing got repainted ages ago.
Well we never bothered replacing the doors. But now we have to. So we ordered them last week and our carpenter had to fill in the old T hinge cut outs. That meant the whole thing had to be emptied and taken outside for sanding and repainting. It's NOT light, let me tell you.
So my kitchen got destroyed Saturday for Operation Island Patch.
That means I spent yesterday reorganizing all my kitchen drawers and shelves (at least those below the counter). All drawers were cleaned out and lined with contact paper to mostly match our granite counter tops. Stuff I haven't used since the island was brought in 4 years ago went in boxes for my MIL to pilfer on her trip.
Now it is wonderful and organized and CLEAN and I know where everything is. Best of all there are NO choking hazards in that island. None at all. The junk drawer got moved and I can kiddy proof that easy.
There has also been knitting:
I finished these:
Fingerless mitts by Gaea (I think) in Patons SWS in Natural Violet.
As you can see they are TOTAL fraternal twins, more like negative/positive and I had to tweak the yarn on the right one to make that happen. They were for my boss for her birthday and she likes them.
A threebie:
Left to right:
Lions Brand Wool Felting and my swatch for the Purl Diva's KAL of the French Market Bag. It will be green and hot pink and light grey.
Fingerless gloves, like hubby's but for ME, out of the really great sock yarn that Doctor K sent me. I love this stuff.
The bag from Last Minute Knitted Gifts for my mom in Alchemy Bamboo (the yellow) blended with a gossamer Habu mohair. When finished it will be lined with satin or something or other in a cream to match the Habu.
We are in the home stretch for the foster licensing.
Well is being shocked tomorrow. We have negligible amounts of arsenic in our water (woo hoo). The property is looking really good. I think I have a home lined up for the fish pond and resident turtle. I have my medical clearance and I don't have TB (score!). I think all of our references have been turned in (at least two that I know of) and I haven't heard anything about our criminal clearances, so for the time being I'm assuming all is well.
So what's left?
Childproofing the house, namely the kitchen.
Just how hard is it to childproof something that doesn't have doors? Point in case being my lovely huge monstrous island.This was a great freebie. Our kitchen wouldn't be nearly as great as it is without it. Real maple butcher block top. Extremely UGLY everything else. Doors got removed and the whole thing got repainted ages ago.
Well we never bothered replacing the doors. But now we have to. So we ordered them last week and our carpenter had to fill in the old T hinge cut outs. That meant the whole thing had to be emptied and taken outside for sanding and repainting. It's NOT light, let me tell you.
So my kitchen got destroyed Saturday for Operation Island Patch.That means I spent yesterday reorganizing all my kitchen drawers and shelves (at least those below the counter). All drawers were cleaned out and lined with contact paper to mostly match our granite counter tops. Stuff I haven't used since the island was brought in 4 years ago went in boxes for my MIL to pilfer on her trip.
Now it is wonderful and organized and CLEAN and I know where everything is. Best of all there are NO choking hazards in that island. None at all. The junk drawer got moved and I can kiddy proof that easy.
There has also been knitting:
I finished these:Fingerless mitts by Gaea (I think) in Patons SWS in Natural Violet.
As you can see they are TOTAL fraternal twins, more like negative/positive and I had to tweak the yarn on the right one to make that happen. They were for my boss for her birthday and she likes them.
A threebie:Left to right:
Lions Brand Wool Felting and my swatch for the Purl Diva's KAL of the French Market Bag. It will be green and hot pink and light grey.
Fingerless gloves, like hubby's but for ME, out of the really great sock yarn that Doctor K sent me. I love this stuff.
The bag from Last Minute Knitted Gifts for my mom in Alchemy Bamboo (the yellow) blended with a gossamer Habu mohair. When finished it will be lined with satin or something or other in a cream to match the Habu.
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