Thursday, November 4, 2010

Something Tangible

In this day and age of internet and digital media, I'm probably a throw back.

While I love Facebook, Twitter, blogs and Plurk and my digital cameras and my iPhone and my netBook, there are things that I want to be able put my hands on (for the smart alecs that read this - yes I know the cameras and the netBook and iPhone are tangible :-P ). There are also things I want to give to people.

Sometimes it is hand knits. Sometimes it is a piece of jewelry that reminds be of the person that gets it. Sometimes it is just a little something to let them know I saw this and it made me think of them.

Last year I gave our neighbor a necklace with a teacher pendant because I thought she'd like to have it for the new school year and I had no clue at the time when her birthday was. At the same time I got myself one similar that says " laugh often... love much." Both things that were very difficult after the year of failed fertility trials. But also things that I needed to remember.

As most of my readers know, my biological son was given my contact information by his parents starting in May of this year and he used it. Now he and I have never actually spoken (okay not since the day after he was born - he won't remember that) nor seen each other in person. All of our contact is online: chat, WoW, Facebook, Twitter, et cetera.

He knows how to get in touch with me when needed and I do hope to actually get to speak with him and meet him in person some day. It's his call to make, literally and figuratively.

That said, I wanted him to have something from me, so I have a hat in the works that he knows about. I'm also making a shawl for his mom. But those kinds of things are easy.

A few weeks ago I was browsing online looking for new pendants to go with the one mentioned above. Simple statements, nothing overtly religious since I'm not at all religious and I came across a cute little charm for a charm bracelet.

It was a little black enamel Scottie dog with a red enamel bow set in sterling silver. Now Alex lost his Mattie dog (a Scottie) back in May rather unexpectedly. And I'll see a post from him every so often about how much he misses him (and I don't blame him - I miss Smokey Cat fiercely right now and I'd give just about anything to have my Herky cat back and he's been gone 22 years).

The charm seemed perfect so I ordered it. Now I know where his parents live. I can pull their address up any time I want. I didn't have Alex's and I was afraid to ask for it and he hadn't offered. I didn't and still don't know how he'd feel about getting something tangible from me.

It took a couple of weeks to get up the nerve to ask him for his mailing address at school. He was kind enough to supply it. So I bought a card and stuck the charm in it and away it went.

I have no idea if he's received it or not. When he does, I hope he likes it, rather then is upset by it, since that was not my intent. Maybe he can stick it on his keychain or his back pack. Hopefully, as the pain of the loss lessens, when he sees it and thinks of Mattie, he can remember all the fun times they had together as boy and dog, as friends.

But it's something tangible and hopefully worth keeping. Unlike the monster tin of cookies I also had delivered that I'm sure he and his roommates have inhaled by now.


Toni said...

I agree - something to have & hold does mean more (although cookies are a real close second place!). But mainly it's letting people we love know we're thinking of them - and sounds like you're doing a good job at that.

Karin said...

I am sure he will appreciate it. It was a very sweet thought and gesture. Sometimes it really is the little things that matter!

AlisonH said...

Did you hear me guffaw at the end?! Having had teenage sons off and away, oh, the memories of cookie care packages. The scottie was a very thoughtful and touching gift, and the cookies--they help make a guy instant new friends on the spot.