Still Here, Still Missing Him

Cliff the Mutt has been gone since May 1st.
 
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him and miss his sweet face and his little monkey sounds when I get home. 

He was cremated and now he is part of this.

I think it fits since he left paw prints all over my heart that will never fade.

It is still hard to believe he's gone.  I still reach for him at night and expect to see him when I open the door and I get home from work.

People around the apartment complex ask about him and I have to explain again and the pain begins anew.  

And that is okay.  It is okay to miss him and hurt because he is gone.  As little as he was, he was a huge part of my life.

While he can never be replaced, I can say that there is a pair of mischief makers in my house now that are a helpful distraction.

Please say hello to Cinna and Ru, a.k.a The Squeaks.

This is a sibling pair (girl/boy respectively) that I found while I was out at dinner with some co-workers on April 29th.

Yes that is right, 2 days before Cliff passed.

I was not planning on keeping them.  They never met him.  I immediately started looking for a home for them.

Cliff passed and I was not ready to have new pets.  I tried postings at work and at the vet and the local pet stores.  They were only 6 weeks old and I would not let them be split up.  See they were found with 4 other siblings that same night.  I was the only one that took two home.  Could not find someone to them separately or together that night and with Mama Cat missing (and probably dead) I was NOT leaving them there.

Now we are 6 months down the road and those tiny little things have grown (especially Ru) and have taken over my life.  

Ru is a whopping 9 pounds and still growing.  It is such a good thing that he is so sweet.  He looks like a sleek miniature panther and then he meows and the ruse is up - yup he's still a kitten.

Cinna is a petite little 5 pound thing that is absolutely fearless.  She loves her brother and walks all over him, and he lets her.  

He is very protective of her and they have only been separated once.  I had to take her in for a followup for her spay and it was the first time I left him home without her.  Well I left him with my neighbor so he wouldn't be alone.  Turns out Ru meowed constantly and kept looking for her.  When they get boarded at the vet, they are together.  They had their surgeries together.  They are always together except at dinner time.

Ru has to eat in the closet because he keeps stealing Cinna's food.

I love them very much and some days I wonder if Ru and Cliff didn't swap souls.  Ru lays where Cliff laid when I'm home or at the computer.  He curls up with me the same way Cliff did.  And if he keeps going the way he is going, he will weigh the same as Cliff (goodness help me).

Either way, I think I was meant to have them and I am happy to have them.  Even when the panther jumps from the top of his condo to the bed at 3 am.  

I wouldn't have it any other way.