Sunday, June 8, 2008

Kick Me While I'm Down

Today is the last time I blog about our baby quest unless something good comes out of it.

We had a good cycle last cycle in terms of procedure and a hopeful outcome. We did everything right, our doctor did everything right.

However, Friday Mother Nature again decided to kick me in gut, with no warning (no PMS, nothing). There is no baby to be, the last IUI was unsuccessful and we saw the fertility specialist on Friday to see where we go from here.

There is another test to see just how big of an impact the scar tissue from that fateful C-Section 18 years ago (yeah he turned 18 two weeks ago, I cannot believe it) has had on the inside of my uterus. Those results will determine if we actually move forward with IVF attempt, or give up completely.

So I spent most of Friday afternoon hoping that no one at work could hear me crying, because I really couldn't stop crying for long periods of time. Of all the days to be out of Kleenex at work.

Woke up Saturday with a fever and no voice, I guess the Fates decided to kick me while I'm already down. Emotional breakdown followed by a physical one. Gee thanks. It's appreciated. Not.

I am doing better today. Fever broke last night. Mostly just aches and a headache at this point. Trying desperately to keep my depression from getting the best of me. I should be in the office tomorrow, but T if I'm not and you read this, you know why.

Now if I could just figure out who gave me this bug, I'd be much happier, because I'm more than inclined to give it back.


Michelle said...

That just doesn't sound good. I have a friend who's done IVF twice (a single and twins) and been extremely lucky each time by her own admission. I understand not wanting to dwell on this, especially on the internet, so good luck!

no-blog-rachel said...

oh hon, I'm sorry. *hug*

Alison said...

Crum. I'm sorry.

DK said...

Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry. How disappointing.

I know there's nothing I can say to make it better. You're going to be a great mom, no matter where your children "come from".

You already are.

Hang in there. I'm here if you need an ear, or a shoulder, or any other sympathetic body part.