Friday, September 25, 2009

and is this Jennifer?

Yes Sir.

Wednesday was an odd day. I was putzing around online and saw a news article that led me to go do a search for my biological son's adopted father for the first time in about a year.

I googled him and saw he has a LinkedIn account, so I pop over since I have an account there. Lo and behold, there was a link to his newish mini blog, so biting the bullet I clicked over out of curiosity.

OMGosh he has pics of his son on the site. I just about fell out of my chair.

As most of my regular readers know, I've been trying to figure out how to contact them since he turned 18 a year and a half ago. Just the parents, not him. I will not bypass them to contact him first. I am not his parent. So I mulled it over and showed most of my co-workers and my husband the pics of him. He's so tall!

I'm a smart person. I know where he works. There has to be some way to figure out his email address based on the information I had. I'd tried that once last summer to no avail (I was apparently having an off day brain wise), but yesterday I succeeded.

So how do you politely state that you are looking for a particular person without stating why in case the email address you just cooked up does not actually go to him? As vaguely as possible without getting caught by a spam filter.

I basically asked if this was such and such, husband to *** and father to *** and that it was not business related and could you please let me know if this was the right person.

I signed it Jenn Rinella.

And he responded:

"Yes, and is this Jennifer?"

Five magic little words. He knew who I was. Even though they 'know' me as Jennifer Maples.

So I had a mini freak out. I'm a bit dramatic, what can I say? It is how I am sometimes. And I had caffeine yesterday (really BAD idea).

I responded more or less that I go by Jenn now. That I wanted to let them know how to contact me. Gave them contact information, phone, email, blog, facebook, twitter, told him how I found him and I think their dogs are adorable (two Scotties - too cute). I gave a quick background regarding finishing school and where I am and what I'm doing now. I promised not to ever contact Alex first.

I stated that I was probably the last person they wanted to hear from and that I understood if that was the case. And I hit send.

He was kind enough to reply that they were delighted to hear from me. He thought it was neat that I found his mini blog. He let me know that Alex is a sophomore in college in Communication and Theater, but that he's also good at math. :-) They are very proud of him and love him dearly. He gave me his home number and home email.

At this point I was home and completely freaking out in front of Slug. Who just laughed, told me to calm down and ask the two questions I really wanted to know:

1. Does he know he's adopted?
2. Does he want to know anything about me?

So one more response.

1. Yes he knows
2. He's asked about me and knows my name and where he was born, but he's not ready to make contact yet.

They asked that I keep in touch for when he is ready.

I waited till this morning to respond. I thanked him and stated that I understand since I didn't start looking for my biological mother till I was in my 20s.

So I did it. I contacted them. I have a source of some information and possibly pictures.

They say do one thing every day that scares you. I think I filled my quota for the year yesterday.

But now I know. And there is hope. So I will wait.


NotAMeanGirl said...

I am so proud of you for reaching out to them. My God. That had to be scary as hell! I'm so glad they are open to keeping communicating with you!!! **huge hugs**

BJ Blinston said...

That's so cool! Being an adoptive parent myself I can't tell you how awesome it is to hear from the birth parents of our children. We love to know what is happening in their lives. Our children all know they are adopted and have had the chance already to meet their birth parents. It has been a wonderful experience. I hope when your son is ready he will contact you and get to know you.

TheWench said...

I"m so happy for you!! *huge hugs*

Cookie said...

Oh, honey, I am so proud of you! And happy for you. I'm thrilled that the first contact went well and they are open to keeping in touch with you.


Anonymous said...


*deep breath*

What good news. You needed something positive to happen. And, I think, you did everything right.




(formerly) no-blog-rachel said...

Wow! And how awesome! And Giant hug to you! (and lots of exclamation points apparently!!!)

Seriously - this is huge and I'm so happy for you and proud of you. I'd have freaked out too.


perpstu said...

I am so proud of you for making the leap and elated that they were happy to hear from you! I hope one day you can meet your son in person and see who he has become.


Devyl Gyrl said...

What an amazing day for you. I'm so glad that he is keeping the lines of communication open with you. I'm so happy for you, and I hope the beautiful young man you gave life to reaches out to you in the near future.


Mindy said...

Wow, Jenn! That's simply amazing! That was a HUGE step in your life. Hugs and good luck.

Hattie said...

Awww, I am so happy the response was positive! One day he'll be ready and hopefully you guys can be a part of eachothers futures.

AlisonH said...

Happy day! Clearly his adoptive parents are secure in themselves as well as loving and kind--exactly the kind you'd hope for. Very cool.

Chicken Mama said...

You are a wonderful and loving person. I can only imagine how frightening and scary it was to go through the guessing and anguish. I pray that things turn out the way they are supposed to. XOXOXOXO