Friday, May 30, 2008

Rinella Foster Home

Guess what I'm looking at right now?

Okay the computer screen doesn't count. I can touch type, you know. ;-)

Foster Parent Identification Card ****** County Human Services Department

Foster Parent Name: Jennifer Rinella
Expiration Date: 5/23/2013
Name of Facility: Rinella Foster Home

How absolutely cool is that?!?!?! I am so excited. And I so wanted to tell someone, but couldn't think of anyone to call (no offense T, you have to put up with me all day at work). So I'm telling all of you.

It's Official!

At some point I'll stop tearing up thinking about it.

I cannot wait till we get our first placement. And, yeah, we got licensed for any age 0 to 18.

It's going to be a wild ride, but we are ready. It's time.

Friday, May 23, 2008

What a way to go!

How to know that I am truly insane?

I got signed up for Sockwars in spite of only having finished one real sock to date (booties don't count).

I figured what the hay? I have Tofutsies in my stash and this will be a chance to use some of it. But I am SO dying in the first week.

Sure enough:

This showed up on my doorstep Wednesday May 14th.

That's a pair of Detonator Socks in KnitPicks Memories in the Mountain Dusk colorway. I think it's mostly purple. Other people see it and say they are blue. It doesn't really matter since they are all mine
. ::big grin::

Now I started the war with a handicap. My dossier was one of several that went missing the first day. Being OCD, I couldn't bring myself to start in spite of having the pattern till I knew if my target was a guy or a girl. Sorry, sometimes I can bust away from it, other times not to successful.

So Saturday morning cast on and knocked out for the count by my husband's cold. Then totally sucking with the increases, I'd blame brain fog, but truly I'm not that great of a knitter, yet. I frogged the first set of pattern
s repeats about 5 times till I picked an increase that I could do and didn't totally suck (boy was I wrong) but I made progress.

Then Sunday I managed to injure myself royally with the quad incidence (it's healed nicely thank you). Scars yes, do I care? Nope. They remind me of my stupidity.

Then Monday I got the email. Your socks are on the way! YELP! I've only got 5 pattern repeats done in the leg for the first sock. Knit, knit, knit, knit, knit. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Stupid Jenn, stupid Jenn, stupid Jenn, stupid Jenn, stupid Jenn.

I managed to get to the heel flap due to us taking a road trip to take Dinke (the turtle) to her new home. BTW She's doing great and she's about to have some male playmates! I actually miss her, but it sounds like she's in a much better place.

So this is what I sent my assassin.

The started sock (without the needles thank you very much), all the yarn (Tofutsies in Three Feet Short), B&B Works Shea it isn't so Foot lotion (this is a SOCK war after all) and the softest fake sheep on the planet.

She liked the swag even if I'm sure she cussed the sock the entire time she spent finishing them.

Then the day after I mailed them, I finished the second sock of the first pair I ever made.

Woo hoo. Then I also signed up for Summer of Socks 2008 so I can get rid of some of the sock yarn in my stash. I cannot wait for it to start.

And yeah, I'm gonna try that Detonator pattern again now that I know how to do the increase.

PS Yeah I'll be there for Sock Wars IV. I'm going to try to take the starting Friday off and hit a B&B on the coast and knitting all freaking weekend. Hubby can hold down the fort for three days.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Joy Rush

I saw this on Barb's site, then on Kate's site and decided with the amount of negativity running around this blog these days I needed to do this.

So let's see if I can come up with 15 things:

Ken's smile: You know what I'm talking about. The smile that your honey has on his/her face when you get home at the end of the day, or you see him after being in the house for a while and he's been in the garage. That special smile that is just yours. Warms your heart.

Scrat the Brat chasing a tennis ball: The look of intense joy and excitement when he sees you heading for the RV bin that holds the ball launcher just cannot be reproduced. Just taking time to play with the dog brings him that much pleasure it cannot help but be contagious.

Kaji the kitty wanting to snuggle: Kaji and I have a love/hate relationship. She loves to hate me. Lately she's been shadowing me in the house and letting me pet her AFTER I've fed her. She just comes up to you and coos like a pigeon (hence her nickname) and you cannot help but pick her up and see how soft she is.

Nemo's motor: Nemo is another of our kitties. He is so certain you are going to eat him but must get scritching or play with your shoe laces when you are tying your shoes. His purr is phenomenal and I can hear it without my hearing aids. He always comes and says hi to me in the morning.

Rasta in snuggle mode: When Rasta is allowed in the bed room at night (very rare) he will curl up in a ball next to me and just stay there all night. He simply wants to just be there and I'm happy to let him. And his wimpy meow (he's the big burly muscle boy on the kitty block) is just hilarous.

Smokey Cat walking up to me in the morning for a cuddle: just that fact that he still trusts us enough to stick around and that he wants to be around us.

Hot air balloons in the morning: I live along the flight path for some local Ballooners. I love letting the dogs out in the morning and seeing the balloons go over the house.

My neighbors kids: Mostly her son. Her new daughter couldn't care less that I exist. ;-) But her son loves to come down and play with my husband on the tractor and the joy on his face is just a beautiful thing.

Cliff the Mutt waiting to be let under a blanket: Dogs like dens. Cliff loves to be under blankets. He gets so excited when I head to the recliner with my quilt and a pillow and my knitting, I can't help but let him in under the blanket and Oscar wedged on one side and Scrat wedged in my arm pit. :-)

All three dogs when I get home from work: She who feeds us is HOME! They are inside the screen door, one doggy to a panel, about to explode if I don't open that door and pet them.

The beach: I love taking the dogs to the beach. They get to run around and just get dirty and messy and have fun and be totally uninhibited and I get to join them.

My grandfather clock: I started losing my hearing when I was nine and admittedly it kept me up at night. Mom and Dad got this clock when I was 10. It was custom built for us from the Black Forest in Germany. When I would lay awake at night worrying about my hearing, I would wait to hear the clock strike. It meant I got one more day or at least 15 more minutes. Now the clock is mine and I still wake up in the middle of the night hoping to hear it. It's getting harder to, but I still can and that's such a good thing.

Ken telling me I'm beautiful: Just that fact that he thinks so in spite of all the crap of has to put up with as part of his life with me. I don't see it, but he does and I'm happy he thinks I am.

Oscar the Dog running across the yard in the morning: He just LOOKS so happy you cannot help but smile and sometimes run with him. That after all his previous humans put him through, he can find that kind of joy now. If only people were that resilient.

My knitting buddies - here and in real life: I love getting comments from people that bounced here from another knitting sites. I love getting to see what all my friends are doing even when I don't get to see them regularly. My husband thinks that knitting is a solitary venture, but he doesn't know the people I know. We're all in this together and the knitting community is one of the strongest I know.

Pass it on folks. What brings you Joy? Let us know. Tag you're it.

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Center of the Universe

at least his anyway.

Meet Oscar the Dog.

Oscar came to us a broken, overweight, very scared dog. I chose the one dog that couldn't be more unsuited to our house:
  • Terrified of everything
  • Scared of men
  • Gets car sick
  • Runs from loud noises
This into a family that
  • Has a male (hi honey)
  • Goes on road trips regularly (do NOT feed the dogs before a car trip)
  • has Jet skis, quads and motorcycles
He was terrified of men. Ken couldn't walk into a room without Oscar hitting the floor to try to become invisible.

Oscar didn't eat the first three days we had him because he was used to table scraps (poor guy didn't know what he was getting into when he hopped in the truck for the ride home that day). He stuck to me like glue from day one. If I left a room, he went with me. If I was in the kitchen and told him 'Out' he would go lay down then come back in about 5 minutes and check to make sure I was still there.

The first three months were hard on Ken, because it sure seemed Oscar wouldn't even give him a chance. I admit it, we almost took him back. Ken's not a bad person and loves animals and it's hard to have an animal in the house so obviously terrified of you. But then I had to go out of town for a long weekend and Oscar finally realized that Ken wasn't going to eat him. At least not that day.

Four years later, he does much better with Ken now, in fact better than when I'm home.

When I am home, he would still rather be by my side. If Ken ever needs to find me in the house, he simply needs to following the whining and he'll find Oscar parked outside of whichever room I'm in. He will lay next to me and lick the air. Yes the air. Oh and he eats holes in my quilts. Not Ken's, mine. ::sigh::

Oscar plays now. He loves to just lay outside and if he's the only dog outside he'll stay in the yard. He's down about 7 pounds and gets regular haircuts (mostly) and just looks so much better.
He doesn't run away from guests, male or female. He's just a much happier, healthier dog.

Some days he is still convinced he is going to get eaten. If I send Cliff or Scrat to 'Bed' for doing something wrong, Oscar still beats them to the room, simply because I used 'that' tone. But he knows he is loved and that we won't hurt him.

He is 10 years old today (our best guess).

He is my responsibility, my shadow, my satellite.

I am his guardian, his light, his universe.

You've come a long way Oscar baby. I'm glad I didn't choose the puppy. Even when you're sitting outside the bathroom door whining to be let in. ::wink::

And if I ever get my hands on the person that hurt you, I'll do to them, what they did to you.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Five years longer than you were with us

Today is the anniversary of my brother's passing.

It has been 21 years and that is so hard to believe.

It seems just like yesterday.

I wish you were still here Robbie. I'd love to see the man you should have grown up to be.

For anyone reading, I'll be listening to Kenny Chesney's 'Who You'd Be Today'. Listen along if you have it.

Monday, May 12, 2008

That Landing needed to be MUCH Softer

I think those of you that know me understand that Mother's Day is a very hard day for me.

1. I technically have a son that will 18 years old in two weeks (yikes) that I gave up for adoption.
2. I have been trying unsuccessfully for almost 3 years to have another child with my husband.

So yeah Mother's Day is hard. I spend a good portion of the day being teary. Reading about that woman in Arkansas who is carrying child number 18 right now, doesn't help. Reading about some woman that went out partying while her kids burned or the father that threw his kids off a bridge just makes me want to bury my head in the sand.

Which is neither healthy nor productive. People tell me that as soon as we give up hope and just stop trying, that's when it will happen. How in the h* do you give up hope for something that you want that much (to be a mom - to make my husband a father)?

My friend Kate wrote a lovely post yesterday. You should go read it. I want that: the uncertainty, the responsibility, the joy and the pain of parenthood.

But for now it seems I get to deal with the pain of my own stupidity. I spent yesterday recovering from a cold that knocked me out Saturday and doing chores and putting my house back together. Mid afternoon Hubby had my quad ready to try out in the yard.

He wants me to be able to take a tight turn (sometimes it is necessary to save you from a really bad drop off - not that he's gonna get me on a trail like that in the first place, but still) on the quad. Now that I can do no problem on my jet ski on water or on a tube with my husband trying to knock me into said water.

However I tried it yesterday on a quad on the land and in my stupidity, I translated lean into the turn, as lean into the OUTSIDE of the quad on the turn.

Can you guess what happened? Yup flipped that sucker right over and me with it.
And since I was just testing it out, I had none of my protective gear on.

Landed on my right side. Shredded my right palm and elbow (it's pretty ugly) and my shoulder. I'm still (a day later) finding splinters and at this point I'm totally waiting for an infection to happen. There was a lot of dirt. I won't even tell you about the grass stains on my face. At least my hair hides that one.

I really must use a less painful way to prove my husband wrong, In telling me what I needed to try, he said nothing would happen and I'd be just fine. He forgot to factor in the 'Dingbat' part of the equation. Sigh.

On top of that, Sock Wars kicked off Friday and I'm only up to the 5th repeat of the pattern in the leg and I cannot knit. I tried. It hurts way too much.

I am so dying by the end of the week, but it means my target will live a while longer. I still get a pair of socks out of it. :-) Just wish I were a little brighter some days.

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all my mom friends out there (and yeah this is by no means all of you):

Susan (your furbabies count in my book)
Kate (a different blogless one)
Kate (and hugs to her Miss Mags)
Carinne (blogless too - I need to fix that)

They know how lucky and blessed they are and the local ones let me play with their kids.

PS - On the off chance someone comes through here and says how can I want that now and still have given my son up, I say this:

It's THE hardest thing I've ever had to do. And yet I would do it again because it's what was best for him. You are not me, you don't know me, and therefore you may not judge me.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Let me off

I have a bunch of stuff to blog about and no energy or time to do it with.

I blew right past my one year blogging anniversary (May 4th for those that might know).

I haven't been to knit group since they moved it.

I have new yarn to blog about, I got to see the Yarn Harlot this past weekend. I finally got to meet Rachel, and have pictures to prove it. I survived Green Bay and seeing my parents for the first time in three years. I still have my job.

I'll get caught up at some point. There just need to be more hours in the day, a husband that isn't sick and a body that isn't throwing me for a massive curve right now.

Let me simply say this. I want off this roller coaster ride for a much needed rest. Something needs to start cooperating NOW, be it hormones, the foster licensing process or yarn. I don't care. Just something. Because I'm about to lose patience with all of it and knitting is not helping for the first time ever.

Friday, May 2, 2008

He loves me

So I find out halfway through my business trip that the Yarn Harlot is going to be in San Mateo California this Saturday. Last minute tour addition. Thank you Jaime. I need MUCH longer to plot thank you very much.

I just spent three days out of town and know there's no way he's going to be willing to part with me for an entire day after that. So I'm silently plotting how to get him to let me go. Is it going to be warm and he'll want to take our friend Shane for a day trip on the skis, maybe a day trip off road riding (wait I can go on those now that I have my Off Road Kart - not a good plan)... You get the idea.

So I have a conversation with Taunya along the lines of (yeah I'm paraphrasing):

Me: You going to see the Yarn Harlot on Saturday in San Mateo?
She: WHAT?! She's gonna be here?
Me: :-0 You don't know she's gonna be at the Maker Faire?
She: I'm already booked up that day
Me: I'm trying to figure out how to get hubby to let me go.
She: Maybe he'll want to go too.

Well I hadn't thought of that. So I hit the Maker Faire website to see what other kind of stuff there was to do (all I care about is the Yarn Harlot. Hey I'm a focused knitter let me tell you). So the IM conversation with Hubby went:

Me: hi baby.
Hubby: Hi baby
Me: Think you might want to go to this with me. (Yes I have an ulterior motive).
Hubby: And your motive is?
Me: Well my favorite knitter of all time is going to be there on Saturday to do her talk and signing her new book.
Me: Looks like there's a whole bunch of DIY stuff to check out.
Hubby: Indeed
Hubby: Looks like fun
Me: wanna go?
Hubby: And meet the knit goddess?
Hubby: Whasername?
Me: Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Hubby: Right
Hubby: And meet Stephanie? Oh gosh, how do I say no?
Me: sigh.
Hubby: Hehe
Hubby: When is day under the oaks?
Me: Sunday
Me: The Knitting Goddess is going to be at the Faire Saturday
Hubby: Busy weekend
Me: yeah

So at this point I'm thinking the answer is going to be no. That was driven home by asking him before we went to bed last night whether or not we were going to go on Saturday and he asked if we could discuss it tonight (Friday that is). Sigh. That usually means we have property plans. And technically we still have a room to get ready for a munchkin when they get around to giving us one and this would totally be slacking. Why did I have to grow up into such a responsible person with a conscience?

This morning I'm at work in the middle of a horrible call with a client ( the client is nice I just couldn't figure out their problem and that drives me even more nuts than my husband ).

I pop back to my desk to check something for the call and hubby's IMing me:

Hubby: Ok
Hubby: I sent you a file

I get the file and guess what it is?

RV reservations for tonight and tomorrow night at the San Mateo Fairgrounds! We are going to spend tonight and all day tomorrow and tomorrow at the Maker Faire!

We are driving down after I get home from work. The doggies get to hang out in the Rig (they aren't allowed on the fairgrounds proper).

If you're gonna be there, look for the Rig outside of Gate E titled 'The Dream Machine' and knock on the door. One of us might be there, if nothing else the dogs will bark at you.

I'm so excited. I get to show Stephanie my first sock, which I did out of her Knitting Rules! book. And hubby gets to meet her too.

He loves me.