Look... Knitting

I do still knit. I have proof.

That is my basic beanie hat in Plymouth Baby Alpaca in Black. Just over one skein.

I knit this up on size 6's because I wanted this to be nice and tight and warm for the recipient.

On that hat are some stitch markers I received in the mail yesterday as a surprise. They are from Kellie a.k.a Lizardtoes on etsy. Someone knows I like pink and purple and orange. I cannot wait to try these.

I finally got pics of the other things I finished and sent out in the past few weeks to assorted co-workers.

That is the Yarn Harlot's One Row Handspun pattern in Paton's Scotland Tweed in a brown with orange, yellow and green flecks.

This particular co-worker told me over a year ago that he got a new jacket that had a brown lining and I offered a scarf to go with it. Sight unseen.

Thankfully I know that when a guy says something is brown, he means brown. Not taupe, or coffee, or nutmeg, or chestnut, but brown. Perfect match if I do say so myself.

Off to Stitches West to drool over fiber galore tomorrow. Should be fun.

Find Out Who Your Friends Are...

I admit to reading the Reader's Digest. I even own a subscription. The latest one has a Quotes page and the theme of the month is Friends.

The two that stood out the most are the following:

"You find out who your friends are when you're involved in a scandal"
"Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families"

I've found this out a few times in my life.

There is nothing more scandalous than getting pregnant at 19 (technically 18 - didn't know it till I was 19) in Alabama in the last 80's while single. I was at college. I wasn't allowed home until the 'issue' was taken care of. And it's very hard to go through something like with so little support.

I tried to get a friend to let me stay with her (i was able to pay rent) since she had a house off campus, but her mother said no, because it would look like they were condoning my behavior. Sigh. Granted this friend, while caving on that issue was extremely helpful after the baby was born and I couldn't pack my stuff for when Dad came and brought me home because I'd had a C-Section.

Finding a place to rent off campus was almost impossible once they found out I was pregnant.

Other 'friends' wouldn't even let me in their place because just being around me made them uncomfortable.

It was hard. I won't sugar coat it. It sucked toast hard. But the two friends that were there for me through the whole thing are friends to this day. I'd do anything for them.

But it also makes you wary. You don't trust people. You don't want to risk losing these people when things get tough again. And at some point they always do.

Second scandal was my divorce. Which, while mostly amicable, still meant people took sides. One friend no longer asked me to be the cookie manager for her daughter's Girl Scout troop because her husband worked with my ex. Most of our friends don't know the full story behind the split. Things might have been different. But even some family members on my side were ridiculously gleeful that I had fallen so far as to get myself divorced. Even better for their opinion was that I lost my job shortly after the divorce was filed. Double whammy. Yah! The golden child has fallen so far off that pedestal, she's never getting back up there. Charming, eh?

With family like that who needs enemies?

But stuff like this helps shape the kind of friend you are. I'll go to the mat for my friends. Not necessarily no questions asked, if they are in the wrong I'm going to tell them.

But if they need my help they know they can call me and I'll do whatever I can to be there for them.

I've got their back and I certainly hope they have mine.

What kind of friend are you?

He Needs More Training...

This is how I woke up Saturday morning:



It was 4:20 in the morning. You cannot possibly blame me.

Hubby and I play an online game called Travian. I'd give you the link but I don't think I need to corrupt any other people today. Just know that it is a massive time suck.

The point of the game, besides taking up all of your spare time, is to be part of the alliance at the end of the server that builds the World Wonder.

Well to build the WW you have to take a WW village. Hubby wasn't slated to take a WW village. We were simply providing support. Well one of the WW's our META was supposed to try to grab wasn't grabbed. The bad guys got it. Hubby is this particular set of bad guys Public Enemy #1. He put together a plan Friday and by the time I got home Friday night had all the troops launched and coordinated to attempt to steal it from the bad guys.

Needless to say he got it and came in at 4:20 IN THE MORNING ON VALENTINE'S DAY and woke me up to tell me. I'd been sick. So I was still sleeping in the recliner so I could breathe at night. Then he left the light on. So I had to get up and turn it off, and crawl back under the cats.

Then HE CAME BACK IN and said that I didn't understand, I have to come help. You have GOT to be kidding me. This for a game, for a WW that he did NOT want.

Needless to say I got up. Put out the call for reinforcements. Needless to say the bad guys wanted it back. A week later we still have it, the bad guys are still pissed about it and all of our spare time is going to managing it.

I love my husband dearly and I want him to see 'end game' because he's been playing since APRIL, but if he so much as even thinks about starting this up on another server I'll strangle him and bury him with his computer under the new concrete area we are forming up in the front yard. Trust me, they won't find him.

So for V Day I got a WW village. I'd have settled for a card*.

* he did take me to dinner but still

Wordless Wednesday

Home sick.

Something that Scares You

There is a song where one of the lines is "Do something every day that scares you".

Now this is not something I normally pay any attention to because well there are way too many things that scare me to pick just one each day.

But this weekend I took it to heart.

Backstory:

I've been plurking since last June because I wanted a copy of Wendy's Nanner sock pattern and the only way to get it was to plurk her. I have met some pretty interesting people online over the course of my plurking and most of them are not at all local to me.

I am also incredibly shy in person. It is next to impossible for me to meet new people unless I force myself. Point in case: I've been in kickboxing since August. I know the names of four people in the class, not including the instructors. There are upwards of 20 people in the class and about half of them are regulars. Sigh.

Also I've tried making new friends using Craigslist in the past few years. We get along fine in email and online. Meet me in person and poof the person disappears into the ether. This has happened repeatedly, so it must be something with me. Which makes it even less likely I'll make the first move when getting to meet someone in real life for the first time.

So fast forward to Saturday. I see that Perpstu is telling JustJen about her boarding pass, and I asked where she was going. She said Oakland on business and I start yelling in plurk.

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?!?!?!?!"

"I'M AN HOUR NORTH OF THERE"

So she and JustJen invited me to crash their dinner plans. At which point I go into OMG they aren't going to like me in person, they only know me online, this isn't going to go well, maybe hubby will want me to stay home, I can stick my head in the sand...

Yeah I'm neurotic, why do you ask?

So Sunday rolls around and I talk hubby into letting me go. I get my chores done and I hit the car at 4, realize I need cash and swing by the grocery store. I'm not on the road until 4:30 and I have to be there by 5:30 and it takes at least 1.5 hours to get to San Ramon from my house.

Ha. I can make up the time, I do have a lead foot. Traffic, traffic, traffic. All right people it rains EVERY year at least once in northern California. Just because there is water falling from the sky doesn't mean you are allowed to forget how to drive and if you do just get the heck out of my way!

Perpstu sent me a text at 5:09 that she's just now getting her rental car. I tell her to take her time since I'm still playing in traffic. I still managed to get to the hotel in 1.5 hours, but it was 6 o'clock and I was 30 minutes late and Perpstu likes punctual people (I think, I have to back read her blog again) so it was one strike. Thankfully I walked in as she was finishing up checking into the hotel.

She called JustJen and we decided to brave Pier 39 dinner in spite of the rain. So we hop back in cars and head into SF. At this point I've crossed both the Richmond Bridge and the Bay Bridge in my travels of the evening.

We ended up at Swiss Louie's for dinner. I had the Calamari and the Chicken Picatta. Perpstu had the Crab Cakes and Cannoli, while JustJen had Garlic Bread and the Chicken Parmigiana.

Both ladies had Pomegranate Martini's. I don't drink so I settled for water, much to the waiter's dismay. :-)

I headed home across the Golden Gate bridge (that's all three main - I don't count the San Mateo bridge and it scares the crap out of me anyway - in one night), and they headed back to East Bay.

Things I learned:

I don't know nearly enough about shoes. Though I recognize the name Manolo
These two ladies love their Pomegranate Martinis
Perpstu's kitten Unagi and doggy Scooby are adorable
JustJen has really great hair
I love Perpstu's red streak in her hair
Both ladies are very nice.

He is Tired Too.

Hubby went on the attack with our RE* yesterday.

We had a really long meeting with him about

• what happened
• what could have been the cause for such a poor response (I know this one - I'm broken) to the meds
• what will be different next time
• what protocols we have to choose from
• why did he choose the one we are doing next (Microdose Lupron Flare Protocol) vs the Antagonist protocol

Hubby told him he's tired of watching me fall apart when what they try fails (I could have TOTALLY taken that the wrong way, but he was upset and I know he did not mean it that way). He wants them to stop being conservative with us (me). We want to do whatever has the best chance of a better response and more eggs so we have some to choose from for the transfer.

No I will NOT take the route of the woman in SoCal. UCSF standards call for 3 transferred for my age group. Their multiple rate is very low and I trust my doctor. I don't want a multiple birth. I just want one healthy baby, though I admit twins doesn't sound too scary.

If, when we get to the baseline portion of the new ride, it looks like I'm a better fit of the other protocol, my doc will stop the cycle and switch me over. I am prepared for this possibility since it will happen BEFORE I start all the shots this time.

Hubby also made it clear that the only doctor we are willing to see during this cycle is him. We know they are part of a practice, and it's a teaching facility and I have NO problem with Fellows seeing me with him. But every major medical decision we have to make this cycle will have his input. Period. Else we won't start until he doesn't have a planned vacation coming up for the extent of the cycle.

So the roller coaster ride begins again February 15th.

*reproductive endocrinologist

Hopes Dashed

And no this isn't about football.

When we canceled the IVF due to lack of progress in spite of a ton of injections, we converted to an IUI in the hopes that all would not be lost (read that as wasted - I wanted something to show for all that effort).

There was hope.

There were eggs.

I took it easy.

It did not matter.

Fate struck me down again over the weekend.

We are still crying ( okay I am, hubby** is merely holding me whenever I have the latest breakdown and that's good thing - the holding not the breakdowns )

As noted last post, we see our RE again Thursday to see what hope there is left.

I am tired.

** Edited to clarify that hubby wants this to work as much as I do. He wants a baby. He is upset too that it didn't work, but mostly because of how hard the entire process has been and is on me. I love him dearly.