I admit to reading the Reader's Digest. I even own a subscription. The latest one has a Quotes page and the theme of the month is Friends.
The two that stood out the most are the following:
"You find out who your friends are when you're involved in a scandal"
"Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families"
I've found this out a few times in my life.
There is nothing more scandalous than getting pregnant at 19 (technically 18 - didn't know it till I was 19) in Alabama in the last 80's while single. I was at college. I wasn't allowed home until the 'issue' was taken care of. And it's very hard to go through something like with so little support.
I tried to get a friend to let me stay with her (i was able to pay rent) since she had a house off campus, but her mother said no, because it would look like they were condoning my behavior. Sigh. Granted this friend, while caving on that issue was extremely helpful after the baby was born and I couldn't pack my stuff for when Dad came and brought me home because I'd had a C-Section.
Finding a place to rent off campus was almost impossible once they found out I was pregnant.
Other 'friends' wouldn't even let me in their place because just being around me made them uncomfortable.
It was hard. I won't sugar coat it. It sucked toast hard. But the two friends that were there for me through the whole thing are friends to this day. I'd do anything for them.
But it also makes you wary. You don't trust people. You don't want to risk losing these people when things get tough again. And at some point they always do.
Second scandal was my divorce. Which, while mostly amicable, still meant people took sides. One friend no longer asked me to be the cookie manager for her daughter's Girl Scout troop because her husband worked with my ex. Most of our friends don't know the full story behind the split. Things might have been different. But even some family members on my side were ridiculously gleeful that I had fallen so far as to get myself divorced. Even better for their opinion was that I lost my job shortly after the divorce was filed. Double whammy. Yah! The golden child has fallen so far off that pedestal, she's never getting back up there. Charming, eh?
With family like that who needs enemies?
But stuff like this helps shape the kind of friend you are. I'll go to the mat for my friends. Not necessarily no questions asked, if they are in the wrong I'm going to tell them.
But if they need my help they know they can call me and I'll do whatever I can to be there for them.
I've got their back and I certainly hope they have mine.
What kind of friend are you?