It was Not Meant to be

Today was the day hubby and I had been trying to get to for four long years.

Whatever powers that be decide whether or not stuff like this is going to happen decided against us again.

The IVF was not successful.

Hubby got the news first and drove down to tell me in person.

This was our last shot at natural children.

Now the focus shifts to going after a foster placement more aggressively and getting the adoption people to send me the paperwork.

One way or another there will be children in our house some day.

But today is not that day.

Many thanks to everyone for all your kind words and well wishes and prayers and hugs, real and virtual.

Gimme the News!

Day so far.

Wake up (stupid alarm clock).

Shower.

Wake up hubby.

Finished getting ready.

Medicate Smokey Cat (emerge unscathed).

Let the dogs out. Figure out which cat to strangle for peeing in the dog's room.

Put dogs in office with hubby.

Figure out WHERE in the dog room the cat peed.

Start a load of laundry and scrub the Kuranda bed in the front yard. Cuss the cats the entire time.

Kick two of the cats out of the house for the dog.

Fumigate the dog room.

Tell hubby bye and that I will have our doc call me at work so I can conference him in so we can get the news together.

Head to lab for blood draw.

Wait an hour due to backlog.

Head to work.

IMPATIENTLY WAIT FOR 2PM! Which is the earliest we will know anything.

Write this post.

Hope Cliff the Mutt doesn't need surgery this morning.

Like This Friday

I am trying desperately to prevent myself from taking a home test at this point.

Belated Birthday Baby Boy

I'm a bad doggy blogger mom.

Scrat the Brat turned 3 on Wednesday.

It is the day we got him. It is his age as best we can tell.

It is been an eventful two years with this little monster.

Look at that face.

How 12 pounds of compact energy can get into so MUCH trouble is a mystery to me?

He likes to:

• eat rocks
• turn left down the hall instead of right to his room when he is told BED
• eat rocks
  
• chase the cats - though he has stopped trapping them under furniture
• eat rocks
• not give up the tennis ball from the last throw without making the neighbors think we are skinning him alive
• eat rocks - see a pattern here? There is a reason he got a birthday card from the pet insurance company

He redeems himself by:

• loving to curl up behind me in my office chair
• making hubby smile many times a day
• giving his all to whatever you have planned that day whether its sleeping, chasing a ball, hanging out in the office or just wandering around the yard
• learning that playing with teeth (i.e. him biting without thinking) is not acceptable
• no longer attempting to take a chunk out of my girlfriends ankles when they come over
• making certain that every possible IOTA of food is gone from all the dog bowls before he is 'done' with his dinner
• by thinking that a new lap is the perfect place to curl up - you sit down, you get a dog in your lap
• by showing our friends how much for the better he has changed in the past year from the snarling territorial little monster he truly was into a snuggle bug
• never giving up. He KNOWS That ball is out there somewhere okay maybe UP there and has simply not fallen yet. If he could climb that tree he would.
  
• loving my husband completely

You have come a long way Scrat baby. 'Dad' and I cannot believe we have been lucky enough to have had you in our lives these past two years.

Love, 'Mom'

For at Least Two Weeks...

we can consider ourselves pregnant with fraternal twins.

Two 4 celled embryos, one grade 2 and one grade 3 were transferred without issue today. I LOVE that my RE managed to get down to the city between his other appointments to do it for us.

The two week wait begins.

Slugbo is trying to lock me up for that time, but thankfully I have a paper from the doctor that says bed rest for the whole two weeks will be way worse stress-wise than going about your normal day.

That said I am home for the next 5 days.

Light activity - ha Slugbo rolled me into the house when we got home on the hand truck. Doc wants me to walk as little as possible for the next two days. Basically take it really easy. Cannot lift anything over 15 pounds. Guess that means I better clean out my knitting bag. :-)

Tonight we start the progesterone shots (he is WAY too excited about getting to give me those) and we wait. And I sit. And I watch TV. And I knit. And I hope my local friends will come over and visit because I don't think hubby will let me go far.

So I'm out to the RV (its the only place we have satellite TV) for some knitting and some brain rot.

Thanks for everyone's good thoughts and prayers for today. Think sticky vibes please. I want both to stick but I'll be happy with one too. :-) Anything at this point is better than none.

Well It's Better than None

10 eggs

6 mature

3 fertilized

3 disintegrated right after the ICSI (sigh old eggs)

1 of the 3 that fertilized went abnormal on the first split.

That leaves us with 2 embryos.

They wanted three, heck they wanted to be able to choose the three they put back, but such is not to be.

So tomorrow is the transfer, instead of Saturday since there is no reason to wait, this is what we have to work with.

I was upset at first. Still am a little. Spoke with the doctor after a panicked two hours of trying to reach him (not his fault he was in surgery).

I do feel better. Given the results, we are lucky to have two.

Please think good thoughts for us tomorrow (Friday the 13th - wow good thing 13 is a good number for me) around noon Pacific time. That's T time.

Then the two week wait begins.

Yesterday went well

Will have more news after I talk to the doc this afternoon.

Patience...

It's a killer. Gr.