Lightness and Dark

Bloodwork today came back fine. No changes to current protocol or dosages. That said the stim drugs that I started on Friday night are kicking me good.

Saturday was a day of major headaches that came and kind of went but were never fully gone. And crying, oh my gosh the crying.

Sunday was better. But still moody on the meds. Went to my friend Barbara's house for knitting. Had a blast. Her dogs are great. Her friends dogs are great. Her other friends are very nice.

I got sick while I was there (she didn't know, but will after she reads this) from the meds. Sigh. Went home and relaxed. But it was a great day and I'm glad I went and I got to meet some really nice people and I also love talking to Barbara. She's one smart cookie and her knitting and spinning is gorgeous.

On the dark side of this, it appears that the stim drugs have decided to give me nightmares.

Brief background. I was attacked in Fall of 89 when I went back to college. I've had nightmares for years about it (shocker there) and for the most part they are gone. Hubby is very good at making them go away. He knows the signs (usually I end up either holding my breathe or whimpering incessantly). I haven't had one for ages.

So this morning I swore I woke up screaming hubby's name but it was all in my head. See there is this rumor going around the office about whether or not I wear certain articles of clothing when I wear skirts or dresses. It is not anybody's business whether I do or don't and I'm not confirming or denying. All I'm saying is this is NOT something you start discussing on the sly with the other 12 year old leches in the office. Especially where other people can hear it being discussed and let me know about it. I'm the only deaf person in the office you stupid person. Others can hear just fine and they have my back.

So I'm having this nightmare that I'm at the office in a back room looking for something with some new guy (no we don't actually have a new guy - else that would be weird). He heard the rumor and wants to know if it's true or not and I won't tell him. So he decides to try to forcefully find out for himself. At which point I start fighting him off and screaming at the top of my lungs (in my dream anyway) and wake up right before my alarm goes off.

Therefore the hormones are psyching me out and mucking with the one stupid nightmare I finally got under control and morphed the darn thing. I am pretty sure I know who started the rumor and I am absolutely livid. This person is considered friend and has some other issues going on right now, but that is no excuse to disrespect me this much in this manner.

I'll figure out what to do about him after I'm not quite the hormonal homicidal harridan.