Friday, January 16, 2009

These are NOT Tears of Joy

The doctor told me this morning to consider the possibility that we will have to cancel the cycle this weekend.

I started out with 10 follicles at the first ultrasound.

Started the stims and only had 4 that were growing on the right by the second ultrasound.

Out of those four only two are large enough right now to be considered for retrieval.

But 2 isn't enough. It's actually pretty darn bad.

If the other two haven't gotten significantly bigger between this morning and tomorrow morning's ultrasound, we will probably cancel the cycle.

I just really want to scream really really loudly that IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

Why won't whatever powers that be that control this let me have kids? I just don't understand. I'm not a bad person. Everyone says I'll be a great Mom. Hubby will be a wonderful father.

We cannot even get a frakking foster placement.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm following all the instructions. We aren't bad people.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

5 comments:

perpstu said...

(((HUGS))) It breaks me heart when you write things like this. I don't understand why you can't have one tiny little burst of luck. I'm hoping and praying for you with every fiber of my being.

I know you ARE going to be a fantastic mom. You will have your baby one day...hopefully soon. ((HUGS)))

Leslie said...

I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I hope something good happens soon.

Devyl Gyrl said...

**wraps arms around you tightly** I am so sorry to hear this. I have faith that things are going to work out for you. BFF and I are both praying for you right now. Please know our hearts are with you sweetheart.

xoxo

CTJen said...

I have no words, only tears. :-(

Anonymous said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


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